Rest in Peace, America

Sleep eludes me tonight, but it is understandable. I lost my country yesterday. It was not a sudden death - we knew it was coming. But that does not assuage the inevitable grief.

What has happened to this nation breaks my heart, but it also enrages me. I feel a flame burning in my soul. It is anger, yes. But there is much more than that. There is betrayal, and there is sorrow. There is grief and denial.

But there is no bargaining, and there is no acceptance. And I vow that I will never accept this, and I will never bargain on this issue either. One does not bargain when so much is at stake. This is an all-or-nothing proposition, the battle for our countries very soul. Will we slide into craven ethnocentric strife, or will we prevail to the angels of our better nature? I hope for the latter, but fear the former is more likely.

This is indeed a sad day in America. It was a noble and grand experiment. It was a shining beacon, and the occupier of the moral high-ground; or at least we liked to fancy ourselves as such. Even with all her problems, we were proud to be Americans, and spent a career dedicated to her service. And now, it has come to this. I hang my head in shame.

I am in shock. I had hope, really. I never thought it would truly come to this. I never thought that we would just abdicate our principles for the false illusion of safety and "homeland security." Our safety and our security are rooted not in a jingoistic fear and xenophobia. Our safety and security were rooted in the guarantees granted by the constitution, not by fear of our neighbors. I am only 43, but I fear I will die of old age before I ever breathe another truly free breath of air in this nation, and that realization sets me off all over again.