The Stupidest Idea Ever

It is an idea so stupid it makes you wonder how the Republicans came up with it without the help of Newt Gingrich. I mean really! A hundred dollar tax rebate to “offset” high gas prices! How utterly asinine. But it’s about what I have come to expect from the administration that pays for everything (even two active wars) by cutting taxes.

Where do I start on this? Spin the wheel-o-stupid-reasons and see where she stops…First off, the rebate doesn’t make the right people pony up the dough. Nobody I know is complaining about the federal gas tax, which is where the money to repair our roads comes from, and is where the rebate will supposedly come from. They are complaining about obscene oil company profits at the same time gas is costing over three bucks a gallon. (Believe it or not, Americans are smart enough to see the connection here.) What does it accomplish to take even more money out of the federal till, which is actually a loan shark in China? If this president represented the people, he would call his buddies from the “awl bidness” into the oval and have a little chat that would persuade the oil executives to take measures to offer relief to the consumer, or they would pay a heavy price – like their fair share of taxes for starters, and government regulation of prices and profit caps just for good measure. But the American people are not this president’s constituency. The awl bidness is where his devotion lies. And as a result, if you drive, you pay…and pay and pay and pay.

Second, using the federal treasury in this manner to provide relief from high gasoline prices is ultimately counter-productive because it “rewards” a self-destructive behavior which must ultimately be radically altered, if not entirely eliminated. If the administration is hell-bent on offering tax credits, offer them to those who use public transportation. It could be something as simple as a single line on every incarnation of the 1040 form. Those who use public transit would simply keep receipts for monthly fare passes and total that amount for the year, and enclose copies with the tax return. The taxpayers who used public transportation would either receive that back in the form of a rebate if a refund is due, or if the taxpayer has a net tax liability, that amount would be offset by the same amount as the filer paid in monthly mass transit fares. Pay for this rebate/incentive program by raising the gasoline tax by fifty to seventy-five cents per gallon – enough to keep some cars in some driveways at least part of the time. The benefits of such a strategy would be twofold – not only will we be easing our dependence on oil, we will be reducing the amount of greenhouse gasses that are spewed into the atmosphere by the ton every minute of every rush hour in every city in the world.

Third – any city that develops a viable mass transit plan should receive federal funds to implement that plan. Cities that make improvements to existing transit systems should be likewise rewarded.

Fourth – If corporate welfare must exist, make if popular, and make it help the employees too, not just those who dwell in the boardrooms and executive suites. Give tax breaks to businesses that allow employees who use mass transit to clock-in at “odd” times and accommodate employees work hours with transit schedules. Tax incentives would also be appropriate for companies that provide free or reduced price transit passes to their employees.

Fifth – we might want to consider instituting an SUV buy-back program. Outfit some of these government-acquired vehicles for military and civil service use, and recycle the rest. How many Ford Focuses could you get out of one Excursion? The world may never know, but I still find it an intriguing question.

In the interest of full disclosure, I must point out that I rarely drive. I do not even keep a car in the city. I live one block from the bus lines, both the Metro and the Max, and the job line goes right to the door of the hospital where I work. I also work for an employer that is mass-transit friendly. My employer subsidizes 35% of my monthly bus pass, and allows me to clock in and out at odd minutes of the hour because I use mass transit. I can hail a cab at will a block from home, and I live in the only part of the city with dedicated bus/bike lanes, which I take advantage of by running most of my errands on my bike. Additionally, I live in a neighborhood, not a residential area, therefore I have sidewalks – miles and miles of ‘em – so I walk to the grocery, the whole foods store, and the herb company and buy fresh the groceries I need for a couple of days. (This allows us to use a small refrigerator instead of a full size power-sucker.) On Saturday mornings I hop off the bus at the Farmers Market on my way home from work, and hop back on the next one after I make my purchases.

I am not setting myself up as some paragon of energy-independence virtue – I realize full well that what works for us would not work for everyone. Not everyone can live in an energy efficient flat on the transit lines, and many people have no desire to. That’s okay, it’s still a free country – sorta.

I simply want my fellow citizens to carefully scrutinize their energy consumption habits and cut back where they can, and I want my government to enact policies to encourage energy conservation and transportation alternatives. After all, conservation of our limited fossil fuels is much more than just a “private virtue.” It’s patriotism personified.